It has started

Yes! Today I put a to-do reminder on my phone to write a blog post. Somehow it worked! :D

I come here and see a huge list of drafts that never saw the day of light. But I'm not interested in rethinking about those old sparks ;) A huge lot of things changed in my life since I took charge of another new role... "Mother". As taxing it is...so thought provoking it gets. I actually feel as enlightened as Buddha under the Bodhi tree. I probably can't even start describing the feeling of being a mom here (I'll "probably" start a new blog on my pregnancy and motherhood sometime), but today I have something else to share.

I think a woman's life has three levels. Not sure about the opposite sex though.

'Being me' is level - I of life's multi-level testing process. This level is given roughly twenty odd years where a girl has to figure out who she is, what she wants, what she can do about it, where she lives, what her role is in this big bad world, etc., She grows up to be a very logical being, on par with the rest of the homo sapiens.

'Being us' is testing level - II. Here women are tagged with yet another unfortunate being, who was also figuring out his own level - I. In this phase nothing is fixed - Neither time, nor agenda. Every single instance is purely experimental. Mix her emotions, his ego; her talent, his sacrifice; her love, his lust. And the outcome is as erratic too. Also, the plethora of events that follow are most definitely mind boggling. And it so happens that most of the time it is the woman who should understand, adjust and keep going. Afterall, the ultimate goal of this level is probably to maintain the "togetherness". Logic of women in this level takes a big hit as emotions take over at times (most of the times?). 

Then comes the perennial level - III: "Being them'. Now this is the level where even the last ounce of her logic gets completely screwed... Oops! skewed... she makes babies. Anything which works for her baby becomes fair. She starts living her life through theirs. It starts with sacrificing her good night's sleep to comfort her wailing infant at nights, while dragging her disheveled self around the home to get the chores done in the day time. Although my first hand information ends here, I get a feel of how 'demanding' a woman's life gets forever more from now.

But hark! oh lower level sistas... Don't jump the gun yet! Don't judge the life of a woman as a journey downhill based on my analysis here. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Today, when my 7 week old daughter recognized me and smiled, I saw it bright and clear. I felt liberated. I agree that the first few days passed in a blur but now on I'm gonna make sure I celebrate and enjoy every passing day of this level, because the rewards of these tough tests are so precious that any obstacle / difficulty a woman faces by 'being them' is justified. I've just started warming up to level - III and I say 'Bring it on!'... because it has started!

एक आशा

एक आशा

रम्या सत्यं पोतिरेड्डी

खुली अंधेरी रातों में,
चंचल हवा की आहट से,
अचानक मेरे खयालों में,
एक ऐसा विचार आया हैं|

जभी कोई दुःख आता हैं,
जब कुछ ठीक नहीं होता हैं,
तब क्यों हम हिम्मत खोते हैं?
मन में क्यों हलचल होती हैं?

जवाब पता होने पर भी,
क्यों वही सवाल पे अटके हैं?
"यह मेरे साथ क्यों हुआ हैं?"
बस यहीं सवाल में डूबे हैं|

खोलके आँखे आगे देखो,
रोशन जीवन आगे हैं|
कदम बढाओ... आगे सोचो,
कामियाबी का पथ आगे हैं|

जब हम ऐसे विचार रखेंगे,
हमसे जीवन खुश होगा|
हमसे ही यह जीवन हैं और,
हमसे ही एक आशा हैं|

PS: My prize winning entry for SBH Rachana 2012 :)

Stars in my eyes*

The mysteries behind myths related to the age old traditions of Hinduism never ceased to amaze me. Be it Maths, Faiths, or the marriage oaths. I found seemingly convincing answers to certain definitely out-of-the-world questions. My recent interest in the celestial bodies has led me to the Horse and its Rider.

The Indian Hindu wedding has this tradition of sighting a star named Arundhati close to the end of the ceremony. The groom is asked to point towards this star and show it to the bride while the bride prays to this star. The bride and the groom sure do enjoy this activity much more than sit and chant Sanskrit verses. A proof of which is clear from the collage here below (Thanks to all my lovely wingies, who graciously let me use their pictures for this post).

As far as the myth goes, it is said that Sage Vasista's wife Arundhati is a great woman, an ideal wife and the role model, who became a star in the Saptarshi (Big Dipper). When a newly married bride takes her blessings, she becomes as righteous and pure as Arundhati herself.

The seeming reality - This star which the bride groom apparently shows the bride is actually a twin star system and the two stars are called Arundhati - Vasista. It is not that this system is unique for this reason, as there are many more twin star systems in the Universe. But unlike the usual twin stars where one star is stationary and the other revolves around it, Arundhati - Vasista both revolve around each other making it a class apart. So when the newly weds see it, they ought to learn not to dominate but to walk together around each other towards fulfilling the goals of life.

But how on Earth did these saints know about these revolutions ages before telescope was invented? This question immensely surprises me and I haven't found any answer for it.

The real reality - The smaller star Arundhati, better known as Alcor in the Great Bear Constellation (Ursa Major) is a bi-star and is 13.5 times brighter than the Sun and this whole bi-star system revolves around Vasista or Mizar which is actually a quadruple-star, 35 times brighter than the Sun and revolves around Alcor. Though this six star system is not the only star system in the Universe which can rotate in this fashion, it is the one closest to the Earth (about 80 light years) and both Alcor and Mizar are visible to the naked eye.

In ancient Arabic countries, spotting Alcor was the ultimate eye test to every warrior to be deemed fit to fight the war. Many people looked at Mizar as the horse and Alcor as its rider giving it the nick name of the 'Horse and the Rider'. This is the last but one star in the tail of the Great Bear or the handle of the Big Dipper.

My Hypothesis - a.) The bride's father also tested the eye-sight of the groom by asking him to show the tiny Alcor to his daughter.
b.) Aeons ago in a much more greener world, the stars appeared much more clearer and brighter to specifically identify which star goes where.
c.) Our ancestors had much better bodies, brains and eyes as compared to ours.
d.) On the other side of Alcor, there are horsemen who love their wives a lot! (No harm in being a little creative, is there?) ;)

Back Home at Hyderabad

Often people neglect and forget their blog. But fate has its own way of reminding them about blogging. One such way that fate has chosen for me this time is MMT (Medial Meniscus Tear)... in other simple common plain words... I broke my leg. All through this one and a half month that I was here in Hyderabad, I was extremely busy with packed schedule but what gives me time to write a post now is a broken limb! Life rocks I say!

This is to all those, who have been asking me time and again about how our dubious decision of moving back home to Hyderabad turned out. I'm not so proud about the delay but looks like I have given just enough time to give a comprehensive point of view about the great retreat ;)

As mentioned in the earlier post, I had been anticipating some rough time out here. But fortunately for me, it wasn't so bad at all! This time we have not only prepared ourselves but also prepared our parents to bear with us and cooperate till we feel at home again. I have blended-in very smoothly and it just so happened that I found the pulse and jumped right in without contemplating much. From my observation, the one thing I have strongly noticed here in Hyderabad is that, as long as you don't care... you will not have a care!

Our luggage reached 5 days after we arrived (obviously with stuff missing... like my new D&G Light Blue perfume). I wasn't worried. Guess all that worst-case-scenario-preparation came very handy. Oh yes... I did really tell myself, "All that can go wrong WILL go wrong." The airlines has denied taking any responsibility and also they did not give us any compensation for the delayed delivery of the baggage. One Ms. Anila Reddy working with Emirates India, responsible for this compensation section also made sure that we don't get the compensation. She delayed the responses to my emails so that I overrun the compensation period, making it easy for her to deny all payments. The point I'm trying to make is that, Anila Reddy doesn't take any loss by giving us the compensation, but still she feels proud that she has somehow outsmarted us. Why!?

The week that I came here, I made a job at JNTUH at the Directorate of University Foreign Relations. A job that reminds me time and again what a cosmopolite Hyderabad is. I teach English to foreign students, who come to India to pursue their higher studies. Being a CTEFL, this is the coolest job I can ask for at this juncture. The culture shock of my students is in perfect resonance with my RCS and everyday we help each other to be sane individuals in this mad world. This is one place where I can talk freely about US, India and every other country without being judged :D

I genuinely try to answer the questions my students ask me. "Why do Indians honk so much? In my country they would be bashed 100 times for every honk" ; "Why do people spit and urinate beside the roads?" ; "What the hell is this Telangana all about?" ; "Why do you have so many festivals?" ; "Why do people drive on the wrong side even though they know it is wrong? Don't they not know something called a 'U' turn?" But most of the times I end up answering, "Welcome to India!"

Soon after my arrival, I was invited to my friend's engagement. It was then that I realized that my social life back in US was so suppressed that now I forgot party etiquette. I was actually nervous about my dressing, my hairstyle and my demeanor to attend the party. My mom became my savior here and made that transition easy for me. Now I'm part of a ten member Kitty party and I'm loving it! Also, SMS - It is so nice to have friends text me silly jokes and call me for no reason. I was so missing this side of life.

There is a new religion in Hyderabad - 'Pollution' - it has its own purdah system. Every girl and woman of Hyderabad now wears a scarf around her head (with only eyes visible) to hide away their beauty from the pangs of dust and pollution. Some women believe this also keeps them away from eve teasing. Added advantage, nobody knows which girl is hanging out with which boy. Nobody gets identified whatever they do on the roads, on the bikes, in the buses. Everyone looks the same! Too much freedom I say!

In addition to the ridiculously large traffic problem, the unexpected heavy continuous rains in Hyderabad, left the roads in their most terrible form. A piercing back pain soon after traveling is more or less unavoidable as the journey more or less feels like a horse back ride. The weather here has changed so much that a cough, cold, viral fevers are nothing new.

Whether or not Telangana separates, the new in-thing for the students is 'Protest'. Most people know a lot about it from the news. Unexpected Bandhs, postponing exams, delaying results, protests, riots, lathi charge - to me it seems to be a waste of students' time and inability of the government to maintain peace in the state. At JNTU, I see day in and day out how much of students' precious time is lost on a political hullabaloo. Students need to prioritize. I wish they realize this sooner.

Inspite of all this, a number of my Persian and Korean students told me that they love Hyderabad for its people, its spirit and its simplicity. Cheers to that! That is why I call this place... Home!

This was all about the roller coaster experience moving back to Hyderabad from a western country. Guess one has to break my leg to make me sit in one place and finish stuff which had to be finished. So be it!

R's Reverse Culture Shock

Awkward! Awkward! Really awkward!

In December 2009, on the mention of Reverse culture shock, R said, "Are you serious! What the hell... that is HOME. I will be absolutely fine. I have lived 80% of my life there okay! There is no way one can feel like a misfit in one's own place filled with one's own people. RCS does not exist!" And guess what happened after that... R went HOME.

She came running back to her pseudo nest by March 2010.

It is absolutely curious how one completely rules out the possibility of reverse culture shock before actually facing it. Returning to one's home culture after getting completely accustomed to a different culture is an unexpected blow. It is surprisingly tough to manage. On the other hand, the actual "culture shock" is much more tamable and feasible to handle because of the heavy information exchange that happens on the world wide web these days. People are much more prepared in this aspect and they put in the extra effort to learn about the new culture prior to their travel. Whereas RCS can catch one completely off guard!


Having faced RCS first hand, I can tell... it is a dreadful feeling. I wonder why?

Not too long ago, I came to the US completely aware that I will go back to my real home in India soon. Right from the beginning, I have maneuvered my brain to believe that 2010 is the year. In spite of all this preparation, my first attempt at moving back in end 2009 has not been that successful. It is true that I came back to the US these couple of months for a different reason, but I cannot say that RCS did not affect my decision. There was not a single day when I did not think, "If it were in the US..." [I made sure not to voice this aloud day in and day out because I know the kind of fun made out of such statements and I'm in no way the victim of such jokes.] There were nights where I sat up with the urge to take a flight the first thing next morning. It was a rough patch and it is so not fair to pin point reasons behind this situation. There are way too many factors: open-mindedness, interests, procedures, transport, communication channels, etc, etc. Different country... different people. It just happens!

The 'visiting home' experience is so different from 'going back to live in your home' experience. I wonder why?

When visiting, one knows for sure that it is not permanent and that after the vacation everything just goes back to normal. Thus making one extremely comfortable about whatever happens during the visit. Also, the visiting party is always the star of the show. They get to do everything their way because they are 'guests' for all practical purposes. But when one goes back to live, it is a whole different story. We try to reconnect to our old persona and feel of things we had earlier and boy... that simply doesn't fit. Probably, the society outgrows the old perspective long before we realize it did. It definitely takes time to adjust the mindset and fine tune it to the current frequency of the new home environment. Re-adapting takes much longer and much more effort. [No wonder my cousins settled in the US, only want to visit but not go back home ;) ]

Nobody seems to understand. I wonder why?

Now this is the dominant of all other effects faced during RCS. People! When you go abroad, native people know you are a foreigner and they understand your disorientation and try to help you out. That is completely absent when you are dealing with RCS. Nobody thinks you would need any help. Even worse, you are expected to know everything because you 'look' like you fit there, ruling out any chance of sympathy during your RCS phase. Life doesn't stop when you are away and though the changes in your family and friends are subtle, the point to note is that people do change. Exposure to another culture heightens your open-mindedness, liberal thinking and cross cultural opinions, which might not be accepted by people back home, making you look like a total misfit. It is frustrating but quite natural. One needs to give time to oneself and people around for everything to fall in place.

Though vanquished by RCS once, I'm giving another go at this in two more weeks. A lot more prepared this time. [Lot scared deep inside! ;) But that is a different thing.] Life flows with different rhythms at different places. I just need to catch the rhythm and fall back into it in Hyderabad and thatz it... I'll be all set!

PS: Be kind to me Hyderabadis... I'm back there for good!

Reset

What has happened to me!? I feel a huge change in myself... unexplainable!

I feel like I lost a childhood toy … but surely, I have the memory of the person who gave me that gift with unconditional love.
I feel like I lost the privileges and fantasies of childhood … but I know that I had the opportunity of growing and living free.
I feel as if I miss someone… and I have realized... that it is an innocent little ME that I miss!

I'm gradually loosing my innocence, my ignorance, my carefree attitude, et al. I lost many things many times in my life. But in all that “loss”, today I aspire for the value of “gain”, because I'm growing up... because I now know that it is always possible to fight for that which we love; and because I now know that there is always time to start all over again. May be this metamorphic change in my thought process is all for my good. May be I'd do better if I accept this now than push it off for a later point of time. It is indeed time of realization so I better buck up and RESET!

Reset - it is renewing the hopes in life; and more importantly, it is believing in oneself.

Today is an excellent day to start a new life project. Today, I want to see where I want to go? I want to look higher, dream higher, desire the best! Life brings us what we aspire and that is where I am headed. If we stay on the positive and we strive for it; the best will come in our lives.

Today is the great mental cleaning day. I'm gonna throw away all that binds me to the unsatisfactoy past; all that hurts me. I'll discard everything into garbage; clean my mind and prepare it for my new destination; for I am passionate. We, as humans are capable of hoping many times because we are the manifestation of hope.

I am all set! Lifez calling me to a new adventure, a new journey, a new challenge. Today, I promise myself, that I'll do anything possible to achieve my objectives. I'll trust in life and trust in myself for once.

God did design us with a little button called 'Reset'... We just need a pin-prick! and I just got mine!

Party Maami

Strong wind blew onto my face... What a windy day! Though it looks sunny and pleasant, I'd rather stay indoors to get away from the chilly winds. Anyways, such an awesome outfit a saree makes! Wow... I love the color too. Deep yellowish orange. But imagine managing a saree, out on a windy day and that too with my hair flying in all directions! Thank god! it was matter of just 2 mins between the parking lot and the entrance of the hall. I quickly hurried into the hall looking out for a restroom to set my flying hair straight. Once I set everything right, I came back into the lobby where my husband was waiting for me. Then we entered the Party hall!

Midhun's ex-colleague had a son recently and they planned on celebrating 'Annaprasana' for their son on this particular weekend. We were invited 10 days in advance and so were others!

I entered the hall with lot of joy, energy and gala and it took me less than 30 secs to put a blank face! And so was the hall - blank! At one corner I found the father of the child on phone and directing a couple of youngsters to do some decoration. These youngsters were using all their creative grey cells to do the job. At another remote corner were the child's maternal and paternal grandfathers, heartily having a conversation probably about their good ol' times. As soon as the host realized that we are in, he warmly welcomed us. Midhun with all his brilliance went and greeted him and I followed suite. After 'Hellos' and 'How are yous?' the host calls up his house to hurry the ladies up to bring the hero of the show - the Kid. He then whispers gently to both of us in a matter-of-factly tone "Generally here in NJ, all the guests show up atleast one hour later than the time mentioned in the invite!". We looked at each other and sneered, partly because we were bewildered and partly because we were embarrassed. However, we spoke and sat together for some time and then Midhun went and introduced himself to the senior folk there. He immediately engaged them in a hearty conversation regarding their village, politics, news and all possible topics under the sun. I was sitting there watching the colorful decorative items they had brought and anticipating to see the child soon.

Meanwhile another family of early birds had entered. Visibly Tamil! They too spoke to the host initially just as we did. They had a son, about 7 - 8 year old running around the place and having fun. Little later, the lady came and joined me at my table. I would have started the conversation but she seemed to be more curious. Before I said anything she asked me "Are you newly married?". Initially I was surprised at the question because that is not what a stranger would first ask me and secondly, what should be my answer? Me and Midhun have been married 8 months then... would that still qualify as newly married!? I wasn't so sure how to define 'newly married' at that point of time. So I simply said "Yes." She gave a typical 'aunty'ish smirk and said, "Only newly married couples come to parties on time!" and she started laughing slightly. I didn't know what I should react like so I just gave a very hesitant smile to her. She went on and told me about her first party experience after wedding, which was a birthday party where they were invited at 12 noon. The hall was booked between 12noon and 2:30pm. She and her husband went at sharp 12 and rest of the crowd came at 2pm. They then hurriedly cut the cake & quickly had lunch and everyone dispersed by 2:30pm. So thatz when she thought she'd never go early to parties! Today unfortunately they have to leave early because of some other appointment and thatz the reason she came here this early!

She then suddenly asked, "Are you planning for kids?". Bouncer!!! But the answer was out of my mouth even before I realized I was actually answering it!
R: "Not now. Not anytime soon!"
M: "Oh ya! You guys are recently married right! But I think you should go for kids before you start working fulltime. That is the best for you. Else once you start working you need to take a break again. So you have kids now so that you can work continuously later without breaks."
R: "mmm" (helpless smile!)
M: "And also let me tell you this... for first kid it is very easy. Everything happens very easily. But for second one it is very difficult."
R: "So, are you planning for the second kid?" (the most idiotic question I ever asked!!!)
M: "No... actually we tried a lot few years back. Now we stopped!!"
I did not know what I should be telling / reacting / where I should be putting my head!! I went into the blank mode to save any further rapport.
M: "So what does your husband do? .... blah blah... ta ta taaa... te te te..."

And her questions firing session continued. I wasn't obliged to giving her all that she wants to know but she never stopped asking me 'bouncers'! At one point of time her kid asked what the time was and very unscrupulously she pulled my hand to look at my watch. Man! some decency is required here! You don't pull a person's hand to see the time, especially not when you are talking with someone for the first time and that too in someone else's party! One curious maami she was! Our dialogue broke only when the star of the day entered. The child! Meanwhile some more people had come and all the aunties flocked around 'Krishna'.

Finally, I got to meet more people and more kids and had real good time there. Looking forward to more of such interesting parties, to meet more maamis and to get to know pulse of the society :)

As it stands

I have been neglecting my blog for a while now. Truth is, I am really busy with my life. After a hectic day in the office, all I want is a peaceful evening. So what's happening in my life at the moment? To start with...

My life has shifted to high gears for the past two months. Between juggling work and home, I rarely get a chance to sit down and blog. Those previous posts that you read were written during those few minutes that I stole between office and family. Yes, it can be very tiring when my day is jam packed with activities. But towards the end, there is a great sense of gratification knowing that my time was well spent. Probably, in the eyes of my friends, I have disappeared from their radar. My only visible mode is when I am online but I hardly reply to their messages. For that, I must say sorry to them. Believe me when I say that every morning looking into the mirror to see myself is a bonus for me.

Living life to the fullest. How many times we have heard that statement before? I don't know about you, but I am making every minute of my life count at the moments now. Having the time to relax and blog about thoughts is a luxury I can't afford to have daily. But I am not complaining. On the contrary, I am enjoying it. Somehow, I get the gratification knowing that I had a productive day. Imagine waking up every morning, going to office, cooking, cleaning, washing, groceries, browsing, shopping, arranging, et al. It is tiring. But at the end of the day, once the dust has settled, I can truly appreciate life at a slower pace.

Lately, I have become a major fan of Age of Empires III - The Asian Dynasties. It is a wonderful game. Even between all the work chaos, I take time out for a game of AOE - Thanks to Midhun! I really enjoy this part of the day where I get some family time. Playing a game of TT with Midhun or that of poker with Bavagaru is such a feel good thing! Stress reliever possibly. Activity has been all around me always but may be I'm really working my butt out these days :D

So if you excuse me, I want to take the rest of my day in 'screensaver' mode.

Meaning of life!

It feels so good to be sitting down and reflecting on the events that have unravelled lately. What seemed like a rollercoaster ride, finally put me on a high note at the end of the day. Yes! I am talking about my nuptial life.

Life's good! No.. no.. this is no LG ad! Life is really good. Shows you everything you see! Being married now, I realize what it is to be a better half of someone. Back at college I remember one of my professors say this, "When two individuals do some project together at work what we should be looking at, is the result or outcome but when we talk out-of-work, what matters is the process of doing it together, no matter what the outcome is." This is something I can vouch for! Living with a person you love and together doing things you love to do is all one would ever call a happy living. With my husband, I'm living very happily!

Soon after our wedding ceremony, we suddenly had so many things to do in so less time! Nonetheless we escaped from everyone and everything for a big 5 days. C'mon now... we are married! And then there were rest of the ceremonies and rituals that had taken place. We also had to visit many pilgrimages to convey our thankfulness to the almighty, which we did. Apart from all this traveling, we also had to go meet relatives and go for our Visas. What a time crunch! Between all this, I got to know Midhun more closely. Now I'm with him every passing minute. The way he does things, the way he talks to everyone, the way he makes people happy... Wow~ I'm amazed at my selection and I'm so proud of it!

He never let me miss my family... my people. He took real good care of me. I know that my mom, dad and sis are not going to take it easily that I'm not going to stay with them then on. They obviously miss me and deep within, I do too. It wasn't so easy for me to move on too inspite of having another big family for myself but for them... it was rough! This rough!

We then flew to the US. Started our brand new life together with just the two of us... and believe me... this is the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm all by myself now! I take decisions on how things have to work around me. Suddenly, I'm the big shot of my town! Felt extremely good. This is the world of our own now. We, Radhika, Tharun, friends et al. I started working the very next week I came here... all for good! I would've got mad sitting idle.

And lo... here it is... my busy little life buzzing with activity, fun, joy, happiness!

I do!

Marriage! - the institution. Those were the days when my perception of marriage was something close to two-people-staying-in-one-house kinda deal. And now o'course... lots has changed in my basket! I'm on a new plain of living... discovering an unseen dimension. A new life... MY LIFE! In the process of growing up... I thought marriage was a compromise between two people on everything happening in each of their routines. Thanks to the filmdom I even thought that marriage is disastrous because it is impossible for two strangers to suddenly start living together as a family.

Naaah... Life ain't that harsh at you. You just need pick the right one! A true union is that of hearts and that of discovering what two individuals mean to each other. Understanding that the other person's happiness and sadness are now bonded with yours and that shouldering responsibilities together sincerely and faithfully is the essence of joyous living... makes a union more meaningful. The performance of series of rites and rituals is only an approval of the elders, the society and the divine, to accept the matrimonial union of the couple. The event of taking charge of an important office is essentially associated with an oath-taking ceremony. And so it happened when I took charge as Midhun's WIFE.

In presence of divine nature as witness, happened the amalgamation of our personalities on the 29th of August in world's most beautiful location. And there... our lives' big task of finding a true loyal companion was finally accomplished. We experienced a satisfaction that simply can't dwell in mere assembly of words. We bound it securely with these oaths of union from the Hindu culture.

MIDHUN'S OATHS:

1- DHARMA PATNEE MILITWAIVA, HYEKAM JEEVANAMAAVAYOH.
ADYAARABHYA YATO ME TWAMARDDHANGINEETI GHOSHITAA.
From this moment, declaring the bride as my better-half and amalgamating my personality with that of my wife, I am creating a new living entity. I shall take as much care of my wife, as I do for parts of my own body.

2- SWEEKAROMI SUKHEN TWAAM, RIHLAKSHMI MAHANTATAH.
MANATRAYITWAA VIDHAASYAAMI, SUKAARYAANI TWAYAASAH.
I am happily handing over the significant authority for financial management of my household to my wife promise to consider her views and suggestions in all of life significant.

3- ROOP SWAASTHYA SWABHAANTU, GUNADOSHAADEEN SARVATAH.
ROGAAGYAAN VIKAARAASHCHA, TAVA VISMRITYACHETASAH.
I shall not develop or nurture any aversion towards my wife on account of conditions related to her appearance, beauty, health, natural traits, disease or mistakes due to her ignorance. Nor shall I express discontentment in this context. I shall also maintain a cordial relationship with her by either patiently and lovingly making attempts for improvement in any shortcomings in her or make adjustments otherwise.

4- SAHACHARO BHAVISHYAAMI, POORNA SNEHAM PRADAAITE.
SATYATAA MAM NISHTHAA CHA, YASYAADHAARAM BHAVISHYATI.
I shall always be a close friend of my wife and also show maximum possible affection to her. I shall follow this pledge faithfully in letter and spirit.

5- YATHAA PAVITRA CHITTEN, PAATIVRATYAM DHRITAM VRATAM.
TATHAIV PALAYISHYAAMI, PATNIVRAT MAHAM DHRUVAM.
I shall strictly follow the codes of behavior specified for a husband in reciprocation of those made for a wife. I shall neither think of nor indulge in adultery.

6- GRIHASYAARTHA VYAVASTHAAYAAM, MANTRAYITWAA TWAYAA SAH.
SANCHAALANAM KARISHYAAMI, GRIHASTHOCHIT JEEVANAM.
In domestic matters, I shall let my wife have upper hand and adopt a life-style becoming of an ideal householder by making a family budget in consultation with my spouse.

7- SAMRIDDHI SUKH SHAANTINAAM, RAKSHANAAI TATHAA TAV.
VYAVASTHAAM SANKARISHYAAMI, SWA SHAKTI VAIBHAVAADIBHIIHI.
I shall faithfully utilize my strength and resources in making arrangements for pleasure, peace, progress and protection of my wife.

8- YATNASHEELO BHAVISHYAAMI, SANMAARG SEVITUM SADAA.
AAVAYOH MATBHEDAANSHCHA, DOSHAANSAN SHODHYA SHAANTTTAH.
I shall unilaterally make every possible effort to keep my own behavior towards my wife exemplary and resolve all differences and mistakes peacefully. I shall neither blame, insult nor ignore my wife in the company of other persons.

9- DEVAGNI SANMANUSHYAANAAM, SAANNIDHYE KRITANISHCHAYAH.
TWAAM PRATYAHAM BHAVISHYAAMI, SAHISHNUHU MRIDULASTATHAA.
With the divine powers, sacred fire and gentleman as witness, I take a pledge to be tolerant and soft spoken with my wife.

10-BHAVATYAAMASAMARTHAAYAAM, VIMUKHAA YAANCHA KARMANI.
VISHWAASAM SAHYOGANCH, MAM PRAAPASYASI TWAM SADAA.
I give an assurance that even in the event of my wife becoming infirm, invalid or finding her indifferent towards her responsibilities due to some reason, I shall not deviate in the least from my own responsibilities and continue to extend my cooperation to her.

11-MADHURAA PREM SANYUKTAAM, VAARTAA SATYAVYAVHRITIM.
DRIDHAM PATNIVRATMEKAM VACHO ME TAV SANNIDHAU.
I pledge to remain sweet and affectionate during conversation with my wife and in course of my behavior with her. I also promise to be strictly faithful to her.

RAMYA'S OATHS:

1- SWAJEEVANAM MELAYITWAA, BHAVATAH KHALU JEEVANE.
BHOOTWAA CHAARDHAANGINEE NITYAM, VASISHYAAMI GRIHE SADAA.
Amalgamating my life-style with that of my husband, I shall create a new entity of human existence. In this way I shall always be living as his true better-half (Ardhangini)

2- SHISHTATAA POORVAKAM SARVAIH, PARIWAAR JANAIH SAH.
AUDAARYEN VIDHAASYAAMI VYAVAHAARAM CHA KOMALAM.
I shall always consider all friends and members of my husband's family as integrated units of one system, maintain cordial relationship with all of them, serve them open heartedly and behave with them sweetly.

3- TYAKTVALASYAM KARISHYAAMI, GRIHKARYE PARISHRAMAM.
BHARTURHARSHAM HI GYAASYAAMI, SWEEYAAMEV PRASANNATAM.
Resisting indolence, I shall perform domestic chores laboriously. In this way, I shall extend appropriate cooperation to my husband in his progress and betterment of standard of living.

4- SHRADDHAYAA PAALAYISIIYAAMI, DHARMAM PAATIVRATAM PARAM.
SARVADAIVAANUKOOLYEN, PATYURAADESHAPAALIKA.
I shall remain faithful to my husband; be always favorable to him respectfully; shall never be hypocritical in my behavior towards him. I shall also make it a habit to follow his advice and instructions in letter and spirit promptly.

5- SUSHROOSHANAPARAA SWACHCHHAA. MADHURPRI YABHAASHINI.
PRATI JAANE BHAVISHYAAMI SATATAM SUKHADAAYINEE.
I shall cultivate virtues of selfless service, cleanliness, pleasantry and sweetconversation. On the other hand, I shall carefully avoid development of vices and bad habits like jealousy, nagging and grumbling. In this way, I shall always make my presence pleasurable.

6- MTI'AVYAYEN GAARHA STHYASANCHAALANE HI NITYADAA.
PRAYATISHYE CHA SOTSAAHAM, TAVA, AHAMANUGAAMMEE.
I shall manage domestics requirements by keeping the house-hold expenditure to a minimum. I shall avoid extravagance. In spite of my husband becoming financially or physically weak, I shall enthusiastically continue to follow disciplines of an ideal house-holder.

7- DEVASWAROOPO NAARINAM, BHARTAA BHAWATI MANAVAH.
MATVETITWAM BHAJISHYAMI, NIYATA JEEVANAA-VADHIM.
Regarding my husband as a representative of God, sent as a life-long companion, I shall overlook differences of opinion with him and remain active throughout my life in rendering services due of me. I shall never insult or ignore my husband publicly or privately.

8- POOJYAASTAVA PITARO YE, SHRADDHAYAA PARAMAA HI ME.
SEVAYAA TOSHAYISHYAAMI, TAANSADA VINAYEN CHA.
I shall always keep all those persons contented with my services and humility who are held in high esteem by my husband and are dear and near to him.

9- KADAAPI KWAAPI KIMAPI, KARISHYE NA PARANGMUKHEE.
PRATI JAANAAMI MAM CHA, TWAMEVA SARVAMEVA HI.
At all moments of life and under all circumstances, even on temporal estrangement, I shall continue to perform my duties towards my husband without expecting anything in return.

And herez something I found from smwhere and this sums all thatz in my heart...

In clear weather and in the fog,
when we’re online and on our blog,
I will love him through thick and thin,
no matter what state we’re in,
Through good and bad,
when glad or sad,
I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
I promise to love as best I can,
my husband, my friend, this handsome man!

Yes, I will love this man of mine, For now and forever till the end of time!

I do!

Meet Miss Mokshadayini ~*~

Sure, my readers are a couple of curious cats, who really want to know what happened in and after the much awaited "Meet" that I was talking about. Ok... not to beat around the bush, here is what happened... in one brief line -

He proposed love to me. I said "Yes". I proposed marriage to him. He said "Yes".

During this meet we very soon realized...what runs through us is the same damned feeling! We have a perfect frequency match here. Then why not spend the rest of our lives together getting to know more of each other. We are ready to bet our lives that it is going to be a joyful and lovely experience. There were days I was wondering about how all this worked!? But it really ain't that complicated when it came to me. Itz simple. You WILL know... trust me!

Seldom does a Knight in shining armor, comes to hold your hand. He did and he grabbed me by my waist. There is no way I'm leaving him!

The Meet

Life is like a movie. Most of the time, the story gets recycled. Its premise is based on the same old idea with some twists here and there. Good vs. evil. Boy meets girl, boy fall in love, some trouble came along the way and a happy ending to wrap up the entire story. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

Metaphorically, I always feel that my life is running on sequels. The same old premise about a girl wondering about life. That is why I had stopped blogging sometime back. Perhaps, I felt that it was no longer interesting to talk about the four letter word, (that is L.I.F.E, mind you; what were you thinking of??)

However, recent incidents has spurred me to blog about this topic again. There are a handful of people that carry a heavy influence in my life. Be it people whom I know from the past or present, these individuals are like 'setpieces' in a movie which form a sequence of scenes for a highpoint in a film. They outlined certain dramatic moments in my life. One of this 'setpiece' species entered my life recently, for reasons that can be rooted from collective actions of his as well as mine which eventually led up to a chance of meeting up with him.

Time has played its part in shaping who we are today. Transgression from our actions has lead to this meet. The person whom I mentally have in my mind might be different from this person, but I'm sure that the similarities will definitely ring a bell or two. Admittedly, I was more at ease talking to him on phone while both of us seem to have some apprehension or the other about our meeting. I knew almost immediately that we see life from different perspectives. But then there were too many revelations, too much criteria, too many evaluations, too much speculation. In the end, I realised that my opinion about him didn't change even by a bit from the time I knew his existence.

I hope, the meet will be more of an educational process for me than igniting flames ;) Some of the questions that have been looming in my mind need to be resolved. In every way, I will be personally glad to see him. Our paths have crossed for a reason. The real big question is where do we go from here?

Hi!

My Best Friend's Wedding

Dedicated to Asha & Harish

The wedding invite

Wedding as such is a time to celebrate and needless to mention, my best friend's wedding is obviously a heavier reason for all my extra excitement. Asha is definitely a lucky dame for the way things have worked out for her have been awesome! A telugu-Hyderabadi gurl, an illad-Mallu guy and both living in the Kannada land... wooo... ain't it "Zimbly South" :D Frankly, I was a bit apprehensive about the south indian integration that has to happen for everything to go just fine and today I'm mighty glad for it was splendid. Them being a BITSian couple adds the special charm, I guess.

Wedding ceremonies, poojas and relatives had started at Asha's place right from Thursday morning but the real fun part seeped in with the Mehndi and Sangeet spanning the whole of Saturday. Bride's Mehndi took me near about six hours and with Neeta, Harsha and Shruti entertaining us with their Varsham dance and occassional lakalakalaka leaving us in a fit of crazy laughter, it almost felt like no time. Rashmi and few other friends joined us in the evening before Harish's parents and relatives came home for another of those haldi-chandan rituals followed by dinner. Post dinner, started the enthu packed Nach-Gaana session where e v e r y b o d y had a ball. We spared neither the groom's mother nor the bride's father. It was great fun! Later in the night while putting mehndi to aunty and rest of Asha's relatives... all their 'malle poolu - mile dooram' stories took the center stage ;) LOL!!

On the wedding day, after getting Asha all decked up for the wedding I was obviously going to get late coz my deck wudn't take any short time for sure.. lol!! and guess who else was with me.. Rashmi... now u know why I afford to call myself fast! :D After an hour and after some 21 calls from my bumchums, I finally reached the hall and was soon all over the place. hehehe... The wedding and the lunch were real good! Everything happened the way it should and Asha is now a better woman ;p Later in the evening was her Vidaai - a tough moment for any girl. Asha's mom was no different from any mother sending off her only daughter to live on her own. She was crying her heart out. I don't know what happened to me suddenly, I became so restless and my eyes were searching frantically for that lady in green standing exactly at the opposite end from where I was standing, suppressing her own tears and shooting furtive glances at me. Mom.

I already cried a bucket before Asha came upto me to say bye. She softly said in my ear, "Idiot! I'm happy re!" *giggles* now this was tooo reassuring and also the look on Harish's face when I asked him to take good care of Asha, made me so comfortable again! Before I realised whatz happenning further, the grand vidai baarat started with all the loudness and massness. Starcast of the baarat dance, Asha's brother Sriram and gang... uncontrollably zonked by the music I must say. The fireworks added to the grandeur of that starry night.

The celebration was "pompous" in the true sense of the word but the enthu I had expected from BTR for its first wedding definitely fell less. Neva mind garals... the next one [mine ;)] has to be nothing less than 'Great!' ... lekapothe kosi karame :D So, herez me wishing Mrs. & Mr. Harish Sivaramakrishnan a very happy married life, a great reception at Kochi and brilliant time at Maldives. Thus begins... Chapter Asharish! :)

Blah!

First of all, I'd like to apologize for being a delinquent blogger. For those of u who check ur favorite sites daily like me, itz frustrating to go to one looking for a fresh little tid-bit of info and see ntn new. For the rest of you who might check this once a week or month...you are probably not overly concerned. :) :)

Oiy. It's been a month since I posted. I've got to pick up the slack here. It is 01:40 a.m. Friday morning. I was supposed to get to sleep one hour earlier (going to be hell of a day for me since I need to finish off my certain-important-tasks) but somehow I can't get my eyes to shut. My mind is feeling wide awake and that is why I turned to blogging to drain out some juice from my brain.

I have nothing to blog about now. Just some random thoughts in my mind again. Well, actually I do have something to write but I don't feel like narrating another episode of my life at the moment. I'd really, really like to give a glamorous reason for it, like say "I was too busy living hIgH on life" but the truth is way less exciting. I have too many unfinished things on the go right now and there is just no way to post about them and make them sound "Cool!". And also it's just plain no fun to make posts that say "I didn't finish anything, but see this small bit is all that I've done." I really have no words to sum up what n all is happening around me... guess I'm overthinking on some of them.

My colleague who sits right next to me at office is missing! Wierd and foreboding thoughts are hitting my head. Where would he go!? n why? Someone who is happily engaged and soon to be married... he ran away!? Cowardice!!

A close friend of mine and her boyfriend ... why aren't things going the way they should have. Why is he sent to as far as Zimbabwe when things were jus' about right. They believe I can make things better for them. Awrite! PHILIPS - Let's make things better!

My best friend's wedding. April 22nd. A beautiful beginning of the most wonderful love story I ever came across. This is something I'm waiiiiting for! The very thought that I'll meet all my long lost frenz makes me feel so excited. Ol' times... ol' pals... refreshing thoughts sweep my mind thinking abt them... always!

My cousin, her husband and life ... I can write a big episode on this too!

Office n HR ... duh! (bunch of fools!)

Darl sis. Freshers. Seniors. Advice. Studies. Digression. Records. Labs. Friends. Silly fights. et al... same old adolescent stuff!

Finally finally ME! This is easily the most interesting bit. First time after long, I sense the loss-of-direction kinda feeling. The only thing I am sure of at this point of time is that I'm gonna be Mrs.Ramya *dash* by the end of this year. "Hey u in red n yello out there... whatever happens is probably fr the good... and I'm absolutely blank about what will happen next!! but all we hafto do is wait n WAIT n weigh it! :D "

It is 02:15 a.m. now. I wrote this post without much editing. I felt that a spontaneous writing would be a refreshing change to my blog. Anyway, it is time to TRY to get some sleep again.

Where are u boi !??

Having just crossed over the finish line (I mean completing my so-called-important task at office, of course), I can finally take a breather as well more space to ponder over what to blog about today. Ok, first of all, the dreaded Valentine's Day that passed by... don't get me wrong d'ya? I used to love V-day. I mean it is the day to reaffirm your devotion to your loved one, spend some mushy time together doing well... mushy stuff and exchange Valentine gifts. Aww, that's all nice and sweet but there is a minor problem. Where is THE person I'm looking for?? I am anticipating only another few months of dateless celebrations.

I believe Valentine's day is over commercialized and overrated but this year, I didn't want to fire a round of salvo against it but rather I wanted to talk about my preference for the person, who hopefully will end up as my soulmate one day. I do get remarks from my friends who say that I am overly choosy and have an unrealistically high expectatation level when it comes to choosing... ahem...boyfriend. Truth is, I am not that choosy (wink wink) but I am only being selective over what I want. Hey, c'mon if that person is going to be your potential life time companion, you have to choose carefully don't you?

First of all, he must be pleasant looking. I don't mean that he has to look handsome-hunk-types but that would be sweet though. What I meant is that he must be good to look at. Ok before anyone accuse me being a shallow person, hey it is my choice and I want my darling to look good. And I quote what a good friend of mine said "We are programmed in our DNA to admire handsome guyz", so eat that.

Oh did I also mention that he must have a good body? I am not asking for a perfect muscle bag, but rather I meant, he should not look malnutritioned (heheheeee). I dislike guyzs who are too thin and bony. It sort of makes me feel as if they are not eating well and unhealthy. And he must not be temperamental. While I do have my share of mood swings, I never burst out my emotions as far as I can remember. I hate that and I certainly don't tolerate anyone doing that to me. If he is unhappy over some things then he should just share it out, not burst it out. Relationship is about proper communication right? And also, he shouldn't be overly particular over nitty gritty stuff. Look, I am a 'chubbly-bubbly' gal (that means easy going) and I would expect him to be the same too but definitely more saner than me. Any signs of volatile emotions is an instant turn-off for me.

Besides physical appearance, intelligence is a BIG attraction to me. I am simply turn on with guys who speak intelligently. I do want him to possess an IQ of a genius but definitely not too much that I feel intimidated by it.(Lolzzzz) Someone who shares a deeper thought of life and things surrounding them will surely fall in my good books. In a way, it does mean that I am seeking for someone with the same wave length as mine. Smart, Suave... sweet! Communication to me is important and having the same communication channel will be easier for feelings to be conveyed and understood.

And since I am a Libran, I believe in balance. Balance in life and everything I do. Hence, I don't want someone who is overly homely and neither do I like someone who partyz every night. He should be somewhere in the middle (though I prefer a slightly more inclined towards staying at home :P) Also, I would expect my man to care of me as much as I do for him. (This is dead common sense right?)

To be continued... (duh!)

Who it iz!?

Back in the Wheel of Time!

Well... today happens to be the fourth consecutive day when my thoughts had drifted back to good old campus days. Thoughts have been surprisingly pleasant, considering the number of times I have just loathed my existence there. I had remembered campus for the sheer screw-ups I have most of the times landed myself into- much because of me being irresponsible without excuse and of course lazy without reason....though there have been quite a number of happier moments too! But for the past few days, I have thought about the friends I have made there, and the nature of my relationship with them right now. Regret often follows out of the same, but on the whole I realize I have been happy.

I can name a few of them and call them my best pals, if my definition there is accurate. And then of course I have to thank the place for having given me a mysterious gLoW and fan follwing (heheehee...), which I must say I would have otherwise not have (Blushes!). From the meek...humble to the veritably so extrovert & bubbly kid, the metamorphosis has been enormous, something that has surprised me even today. My first day in 6223 all alone..wondering why I had landed in that god-forsaken place, my night-outs in 6302 to get introduced to my close pal, the music nights, my most memorable OASIS 2004, Physics-I comprehensive, December 6th: EG online, APOGEE 2005, the prize we won, innumerous trips to Mt.Abu-Jaisalmer-Jaipur-Jodhpur-Ajmer-Udaipur n Delhi o'course, the longest summer vacation back home, Creative Activities Club, TT stunts...bets, brain-storming abt the sTrUcTuReS, conspiring against Art'n Dee, LOTR-fellowship screened in the audi, dirty dirty politics, publicity stunts, being proposed to, PS I results, PS I [:D], my boyfren - Laurent Kyombo, my first CDC class, Contract Advertising for that Rolls-Royce, The Jealousy, my first lecture with 486 students facing me, ma farewell, sky sessions, Radii chai talks, Psenti night, Dirty dancing, December trip [that would be something am currently trying to forget], Wipro Technologies Ltd., PS II results, my internship abroad which never happened... Etched in my memory are those three n half years, I had spent in the haven they call BITS, Pilani and I love to call "college". I had always thought I would never miss the place, infact I would forget it completely. But today I realize, how much I yearn to get back.......to get back to friends...to get back to life......to get back to problems....to get back to foolish laughter......to get back to good ol' college fun.......

And today when I met a bunch of my crazy frenz from college... I realize... they are jus as crazy! Nothing changes!... just that we go back n forth in this Wheel of Time!

Cheer in full measure!

Obituary

Tomorrow... if need be! hehehe... Audience are kindly requested to dil pe mat le!

Ramya Satyam, Civil & pseudo Software Engineer at LGS, died last night from complications of losing her latest crush. She was hardly 22 years old and absolutely outspoken gurl, also obsessive. Ramya never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But in the final days of her life, she revealed an unknown side of her psyche.

This hidden quasi-Jungian persona...surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit for her long-reputed Darling, a man whom she only saw in office a few times and may be spent a few precious phone conversations with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Friday evening...in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, this courageous Ramya secretly clung to the belief...that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather it's a tapestry of events... that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.

Asked about the loss of their dear friend, Akanksha, Aruna & Gopi, described Ramya as a changed woman in the last days of her life. "Things were clearer for her, " Akanksha noted. Ultimately, Ramya concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum," - what we currently refer to as destiny. - Destiny.

Wannabe!

Talent transformation at LGS.

Thanks to the vettiness...We (Akanksha n me) have found a new way of exhibiting our professionalism in literature. Herez what we wrote on one such lousy afternoon when there was no work (read no internet) at office.

There lived a squirrel called Wannabe
She hunted for nuts on every tree
She hopped, jumped and ran across
She swam and danced and played lacrosse.

One day she saw a bunch of men
And started playing the sexy hen
Fluttering her eyelashes, she winked n bowed
She made all efforts to attract the crowd.

Mocked she was and that broke her heart
Seducing a human was not her part
Her childhood buddy, Chester-willy
Gave her a nut and gave her a lily.

Together they indulged in nut stealing
And made the business quite appealing
Bunty aur Babli they watched for inspiration
And a blog they created for mutual admiration.

Now old and happy are the two in their cove
Growing cozier and smarter in their warm love
We better leave them in peace and get back to work
Otherwise our loving boss will turn into a jerk.

Comments ... Compliments invited! :D

Gandhigiri

There has been an unexplainable interference of this man in my life over n over and the latest dose of “Gandhigiri” (*Munnabhai fame) brings ashore a wave from deep within. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi – a man of masses – the man behind the social movements – a revolutionist – a legend and ME. Not even a remotest possibility of any relation exists. The difference is that of – grain of sand and an anthill. Yet, there have been way too many incidents to recount, where I commendably showcased too much Gandhigiri to get the work done. Clearly… all this shows that the only logical reason why I can have Gandhism in me would be a “Chemical locha” in my head coz I very conveniently even spoke to Bapuji.

No… this is no sequel of our Munnabhai’s story coz junta knows that this happened with me much before LRMB released. (*March ’03 precisely… so it’s more like they flicked my idea for this flick) Now u kno which celeb everyone spoke more about when LRMB released… hahaha!
This filthy brain of mine never stops its proactive thought process and thus emerged the vicious WHY! Come to think of why this so-called chemical locha happened with me? When did I start thinking so much about the father of the nation? And then the film reeled back… (*black n white concentric circles as in illusions start revolving)

August ’99 – Secunderabad – Class X

Yes, this was when I first came face to face with the man in question. I had written and directed a musical comedy “Oh my India! – says Gandhi”. The climax and the message delivered by the play had lot to do with gandhian thoughts for which I had to flip through the annals of Indian history. The fresh creativity was received well and it was a huge hit. The element of comedy did the magic I suppose. I just came to realise that its been so long and I almost forgot this episode of my life. I really was creative even then [*hehehe...am I being modest?? ;)] So...all I want to do now is blog my brain child here so that I remember it for life and you cherish it when the humor bug planted in it starts tickling u :D

so guys...wait for “Oh my India! – says Gandhi” says Ramya!