R's Reverse Culture Shock

Awkward! Awkward! Really awkward!

In December 2009, on the mention of Reverse culture shock, R said, "Are you serious! What the hell... that is HOME. I will be absolutely fine. I have lived 80% of my life there okay! There is no way one can feel like a misfit in one's own place filled with one's own people. RCS does not exist!" And guess what happened after that... R went HOME.

She came running back to her pseudo nest by March 2010.

It is absolutely curious how one completely rules out the possibility of reverse culture shock before actually facing it. Returning to one's home culture after getting completely accustomed to a different culture is an unexpected blow. It is surprisingly tough to manage. On the other hand, the actual "culture shock" is much more tamable and feasible to handle because of the heavy information exchange that happens on the world wide web these days. People are much more prepared in this aspect and they put in the extra effort to learn about the new culture prior to their travel. Whereas RCS can catch one completely off guard!


Having faced RCS first hand, I can tell... it is a dreadful feeling. I wonder why?

Not too long ago, I came to the US completely aware that I will go back to my real home in India soon. Right from the beginning, I have maneuvered my brain to believe that 2010 is the year. In spite of all this preparation, my first attempt at moving back in end 2009 has not been that successful. It is true that I came back to the US these couple of months for a different reason, but I cannot say that RCS did not affect my decision. There was not a single day when I did not think, "If it were in the US..." [I made sure not to voice this aloud day in and day out because I know the kind of fun made out of such statements and I'm in no way the victim of such jokes.] There were nights where I sat up with the urge to take a flight the first thing next morning. It was a rough patch and it is so not fair to pin point reasons behind this situation. There are way too many factors: open-mindedness, interests, procedures, transport, communication channels, etc, etc. Different country... different people. It just happens!

The 'visiting home' experience is so different from 'going back to live in your home' experience. I wonder why?

When visiting, one knows for sure that it is not permanent and that after the vacation everything just goes back to normal. Thus making one extremely comfortable about whatever happens during the visit. Also, the visiting party is always the star of the show. They get to do everything their way because they are 'guests' for all practical purposes. But when one goes back to live, it is a whole different story. We try to reconnect to our old persona and feel of things we had earlier and boy... that simply doesn't fit. Probably, the society outgrows the old perspective long before we realize it did. It definitely takes time to adjust the mindset and fine tune it to the current frequency of the new home environment. Re-adapting takes much longer and much more effort. [No wonder my cousins settled in the US, only want to visit but not go back home ;) ]

Nobody seems to understand. I wonder why?

Now this is the dominant of all other effects faced during RCS. People! When you go abroad, native people know you are a foreigner and they understand your disorientation and try to help you out. That is completely absent when you are dealing with RCS. Nobody thinks you would need any help. Even worse, you are expected to know everything because you 'look' like you fit there, ruling out any chance of sympathy during your RCS phase. Life doesn't stop when you are away and though the changes in your family and friends are subtle, the point to note is that people do change. Exposure to another culture heightens your open-mindedness, liberal thinking and cross cultural opinions, which might not be accepted by people back home, making you look like a total misfit. It is frustrating but quite natural. One needs to give time to oneself and people around for everything to fall in place.

Though vanquished by RCS once, I'm giving another go at this in two more weeks. A lot more prepared this time. [Lot scared deep inside! ;) But that is a different thing.] Life flows with different rhythms at different places. I just need to catch the rhythm and fall back into it in Hyderabad and thatz it... I'll be all set!

PS: Be kind to me Hyderabadis... I'm back there for good!