Back Home at Hyderabad

Often people neglect and forget their blog. But fate has its own way of reminding them about blogging. One such way that fate has chosen for me this time is MMT (Medial Meniscus Tear)... in other simple common plain words... I broke my leg. All through this one and a half month that I was here in Hyderabad, I was extremely busy with packed schedule but what gives me time to write a post now is a broken limb! Life rocks I say!

This is to all those, who have been asking me time and again about how our dubious decision of moving back home to Hyderabad turned out. I'm not so proud about the delay but looks like I have given just enough time to give a comprehensive point of view about the great retreat ;)

As mentioned in the earlier post, I had been anticipating some rough time out here. But fortunately for me, it wasn't so bad at all! This time we have not only prepared ourselves but also prepared our parents to bear with us and cooperate till we feel at home again. I have blended-in very smoothly and it just so happened that I found the pulse and jumped right in without contemplating much. From my observation, the one thing I have strongly noticed here in Hyderabad is that, as long as you don't care... you will not have a care!

Our luggage reached 5 days after we arrived (obviously with stuff missing... like my new D&G Light Blue perfume). I wasn't worried. Guess all that worst-case-scenario-preparation came very handy. Oh yes... I did really tell myself, "All that can go wrong WILL go wrong." The airlines has denied taking any responsibility and also they did not give us any compensation for the delayed delivery of the baggage. One Ms. Anila Reddy working with Emirates India, responsible for this compensation section also made sure that we don't get the compensation. She delayed the responses to my emails so that I overrun the compensation period, making it easy for her to deny all payments. The point I'm trying to make is that, Anila Reddy doesn't take any loss by giving us the compensation, but still she feels proud that she has somehow outsmarted us. Why!?

The week that I came here, I made a job at JNTUH at the Directorate of University Foreign Relations. A job that reminds me time and again what a cosmopolite Hyderabad is. I teach English to foreign students, who come to India to pursue their higher studies. Being a CTEFL, this is the coolest job I can ask for at this juncture. The culture shock of my students is in perfect resonance with my RCS and everyday we help each other to be sane individuals in this mad world. This is one place where I can talk freely about US, India and every other country without being judged :D

I genuinely try to answer the questions my students ask me. "Why do Indians honk so much? In my country they would be bashed 100 times for every honk" ; "Why do people spit and urinate beside the roads?" ; "What the hell is this Telangana all about?" ; "Why do you have so many festivals?" ; "Why do people drive on the wrong side even though they know it is wrong? Don't they not know something called a 'U' turn?" But most of the times I end up answering, "Welcome to India!"

Soon after my arrival, I was invited to my friend's engagement. It was then that I realized that my social life back in US was so suppressed that now I forgot party etiquette. I was actually nervous about my dressing, my hairstyle and my demeanor to attend the party. My mom became my savior here and made that transition easy for me. Now I'm part of a ten member Kitty party and I'm loving it! Also, SMS - It is so nice to have friends text me silly jokes and call me for no reason. I was so missing this side of life.

There is a new religion in Hyderabad - 'Pollution' - it has its own purdah system. Every girl and woman of Hyderabad now wears a scarf around her head (with only eyes visible) to hide away their beauty from the pangs of dust and pollution. Some women believe this also keeps them away from eve teasing. Added advantage, nobody knows which girl is hanging out with which boy. Nobody gets identified whatever they do on the roads, on the bikes, in the buses. Everyone looks the same! Too much freedom I say!

In addition to the ridiculously large traffic problem, the unexpected heavy continuous rains in Hyderabad, left the roads in their most terrible form. A piercing back pain soon after traveling is more or less unavoidable as the journey more or less feels like a horse back ride. The weather here has changed so much that a cough, cold, viral fevers are nothing new.

Whether or not Telangana separates, the new in-thing for the students is 'Protest'. Most people know a lot about it from the news. Unexpected Bandhs, postponing exams, delaying results, protests, riots, lathi charge - to me it seems to be a waste of students' time and inability of the government to maintain peace in the state. At JNTU, I see day in and day out how much of students' precious time is lost on a political hullabaloo. Students need to prioritize. I wish they realize this sooner.

Inspite of all this, a number of my Persian and Korean students told me that they love Hyderabad for its people, its spirit and its simplicity. Cheers to that! That is why I call this place... Home!

This was all about the roller coaster experience moving back to Hyderabad from a western country. Guess one has to break my leg to make me sit in one place and finish stuff which had to be finished. So be it!

R's Reverse Culture Shock

Awkward! Awkward! Really awkward!

In December 2009, on the mention of Reverse culture shock, R said, "Are you serious! What the hell... that is HOME. I will be absolutely fine. I have lived 80% of my life there okay! There is no way one can feel like a misfit in one's own place filled with one's own people. RCS does not exist!" And guess what happened after that... R went HOME.

She came running back to her pseudo nest by March 2010.

It is absolutely curious how one completely rules out the possibility of reverse culture shock before actually facing it. Returning to one's home culture after getting completely accustomed to a different culture is an unexpected blow. It is surprisingly tough to manage. On the other hand, the actual "culture shock" is much more tamable and feasible to handle because of the heavy information exchange that happens on the world wide web these days. People are much more prepared in this aspect and they put in the extra effort to learn about the new culture prior to their travel. Whereas RCS can catch one completely off guard!


Having faced RCS first hand, I can tell... it is a dreadful feeling. I wonder why?

Not too long ago, I came to the US completely aware that I will go back to my real home in India soon. Right from the beginning, I have maneuvered my brain to believe that 2010 is the year. In spite of all this preparation, my first attempt at moving back in end 2009 has not been that successful. It is true that I came back to the US these couple of months for a different reason, but I cannot say that RCS did not affect my decision. There was not a single day when I did not think, "If it were in the US..." [I made sure not to voice this aloud day in and day out because I know the kind of fun made out of such statements and I'm in no way the victim of such jokes.] There were nights where I sat up with the urge to take a flight the first thing next morning. It was a rough patch and it is so not fair to pin point reasons behind this situation. There are way too many factors: open-mindedness, interests, procedures, transport, communication channels, etc, etc. Different country... different people. It just happens!

The 'visiting home' experience is so different from 'going back to live in your home' experience. I wonder why?

When visiting, one knows for sure that it is not permanent and that after the vacation everything just goes back to normal. Thus making one extremely comfortable about whatever happens during the visit. Also, the visiting party is always the star of the show. They get to do everything their way because they are 'guests' for all practical purposes. But when one goes back to live, it is a whole different story. We try to reconnect to our old persona and feel of things we had earlier and boy... that simply doesn't fit. Probably, the society outgrows the old perspective long before we realize it did. It definitely takes time to adjust the mindset and fine tune it to the current frequency of the new home environment. Re-adapting takes much longer and much more effort. [No wonder my cousins settled in the US, only want to visit but not go back home ;) ]

Nobody seems to understand. I wonder why?

Now this is the dominant of all other effects faced during RCS. People! When you go abroad, native people know you are a foreigner and they understand your disorientation and try to help you out. That is completely absent when you are dealing with RCS. Nobody thinks you would need any help. Even worse, you are expected to know everything because you 'look' like you fit there, ruling out any chance of sympathy during your RCS phase. Life doesn't stop when you are away and though the changes in your family and friends are subtle, the point to note is that people do change. Exposure to another culture heightens your open-mindedness, liberal thinking and cross cultural opinions, which might not be accepted by people back home, making you look like a total misfit. It is frustrating but quite natural. One needs to give time to oneself and people around for everything to fall in place.

Though vanquished by RCS once, I'm giving another go at this in two more weeks. A lot more prepared this time. [Lot scared deep inside! ;) But that is a different thing.] Life flows with different rhythms at different places. I just need to catch the rhythm and fall back into it in Hyderabad and thatz it... I'll be all set!

PS: Be kind to me Hyderabadis... I'm back there for good!