Yes! Today I put a to-do reminder on my phone to write a blog post. Somehow it worked! :D
I come here and see a huge list of drafts that never saw the day of light. But I'm not interested in rethinking about those old sparks ;) A huge lot of things changed in my life since I took charge of another new role... "Mother". As taxing it is...so thought provoking it gets. I actually feel as enlightened as Buddha under the Bodhi tree. I probably can't even start describing the feeling of being a mom here (I'll "probably" start a new blog on my pregnancy and motherhood sometime), but today I have something else to share.
I think a woman's life has three levels. Not sure about the opposite sex though.
'Being me' is level - I of life's multi-level testing process. This level is given roughly twenty odd years where a girl has to figure out who she is, what she wants, what she can do about it, where she lives, what her role is in this big bad world, etc., She grows up to be a very logical being, on par with the rest of the homo sapiens.
'Being us' is testing level - II. Here women are tagged with yet another unfortunate being, who was also figuring out his own level - I. In this phase nothing is fixed - Neither time, nor agenda. Every single instance is purely experimental. Mix her emotions, his ego; her talent, his sacrifice; her love, his lust. And the outcome is as erratic too. Also, the plethora of events that follow are most definitely mind boggling. And it so happens that most of the time it is the woman who should understand, adjust and keep going. Afterall, the ultimate goal of this level is probably to maintain the "togetherness". Logic of women in this level takes a big hit as emotions take over at times (most of the times?).
Then comes the perennial level - III: "Being them'. Now this is the level where even the last ounce of her logic gets completely screwed... Oops! skewed... she makes babies. Anything which works for her baby becomes fair. She starts living her life through theirs. It starts with sacrificing her good night's sleep to comfort her wailing infant at nights, while dragging her disheveled self around the home to get the chores done in the day time. Although my first hand information ends here, I get a feel of how 'demanding' a woman's life gets forever more from now.
But hark! oh lower level sistas... Don't jump the gun yet! Don't judge the life of a woman as a journey downhill based on my analysis here. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Today, when my 7 week old daughter recognized me and smiled, I saw it bright and clear. I felt liberated. I agree that the first few days passed in a blur but now on I'm gonna make sure I celebrate and enjoy every passing day of this level, because the rewards of these tough tests are so precious that any obstacle / difficulty a woman faces by 'being them' is justified. I've just started warming up to level - III and I say 'Bring it on!'... because it has started!
